If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
