Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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