I am spending my child support on dildos
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
