so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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