If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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