i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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