I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
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I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
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I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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