Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I just pynch a tree in the face
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
