you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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