yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize