I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
