i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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