But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Randomize
