How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You left your phone here
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