As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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