Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
