Do you still have your period?
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they need to just BURY HIM!
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize