i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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