Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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