Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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