I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
