I never want to see another naked old woman again.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
