Where are you?
In a non slutty way
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
