your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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