dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
