I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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