just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
