I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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