Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
my shit smells like andre
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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