Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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