can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
