Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize