paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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