No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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