You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm sobbing to NWA
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Randomize
