I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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