I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
