he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
