oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize