Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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