When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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