there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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