the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
