your thong is hanging out like whoa
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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