In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
