ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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