im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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