she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
