This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
