Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Acid is not a monday night drug
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
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