I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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