i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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