My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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