Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
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He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
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You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
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