If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize