Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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