ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
