I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
