Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
We are two peas in an std pod
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Randomize