In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
