jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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