Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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